The Lenny Yearning
by thelennytheory
Summary: Leonard and Penny got into a bad fight on their anniversary, don't say they always fight because this time is different. Do their love will be enough to save this marriage or is 10 years story of Lenny coming to an end?
1. Chapter 1

**Hello everyone it's me again after a break. I hope you liked my previous fanfiction. This one may start a little more tense than the other one but things will change with new chapters so don't forget to check them every wednesday and saturday! Thank you...**

Sheldon's narration:

S- Amy, You need to take me to the local market!

A- I am busy, what happened .

S- Doing what? I dropped my toothbrush to the sink so I need to buy a new one and put this in the Fortress of Shame.

A- I am writing a experimental report for the new study I've been doing. You said you know how to drive, so go by yourself!

S- Come on, your work is easy. I can write that report under 10 minutes.

A- Sheldon, I am sick of you underestimating my work! I am a scientist who is working to do good stuff for human future. So go, buy your toothbrush and find yourself a place to sleep because I don't want to see you for a while!

S- Calm down lady, you're all over the place today.

I took my jacket and the keys to head my way to the supermarket. It was the second time, I was driving in public and I was pretty nervous. First time was when Penny dislocated her shoulder. I was following the rules and slowly making my way to the supermarket but then I saw a blond woman trying to walk but failing and falling to the ground. I felt sorry for her and stopped the car. I ran to help her or even gave her a ride to where she needs to I was observing her movements while getting closer, I realized that she was no stranger. She was Penny. My steps got faster then turned to running. I held her from her back and she yelled:

P- What the f**k are you doing? Oh, Sheldon! Is that you?

S- Yes, are you doing okay?

P- Of course Sheldon, I am amazing that's why I am drunk and trying to find a place to stay tonight.

S- Sarcasm, right?

P- Yeah... I helped her walk to my car -well normally Amy's car but I am driving it now- and made her sit to the seat. I fastened her seatbelt. She was a mess, I never saw her like this in 10 years. I sat to the driver's seat and started driving around without knowing where I was going. There was an awkward silence in the car so I looked at Penny. Her teardrops were sliding over her face and she was looking at her and Leonard's wedding photo. I couldn't keep it anymore and asked:

S- Penny, what happened to you?

P- I argued with Leonard...

S- Well you do that all the time.

P- I just can't believe he cheated on me!

She started crying loudly and I parked the car to a road side. I looked at her and she was devastated, I didn't know what to do.

S- Amy kicked me out of the apartment too, let's find a hotel and stay tonight and we'll figure something out in the morning.

She did nothing so I started driving to the only hotel I know in town. Then my phone started ringing but I couldn't answer because I was driving so I handed it to Penny.

P- What do you want you jerk face? Are you going to send me a text saying "Own Leslie, I love you so much! " again? No I can't forgive you after this. I thought you were different and thats why I loved you. You betrayed me, you stuck a knife from my back. I don't want to see your face again, there is nothing to explain. I HATE YOU AND YES WE ARE GETTING DIVORCED!


	2. Chapter 2

Penny's narration:

Sheldon found the way to get us to an hotel but it took so much time. There was an awkward silence in the car and I was still looking at Leonard and my wedding photo and crying. I can't believe he lied to me, he cheated on me. He was the first guy I ever truly love, he was different. I couldn't see this jerk side of him for 10 years! Guys were right, I am stupid.

We arrived at the hotel and Sheldon were checking in and I was standing there doing nothing. Sheldon turned to me and said:

S- They only have one room with 2 people bed. What are we going to do?

P- I'll sleep on the couch.

He took the keys and we entered the room.

S- Penny, I am homesick already.

P- Well its gonna be a long night then...

I took the extra blanket from the garderobe and the extra pillow from the bed. I placed them carelessly and jumped in the cauch. I immediately closed my eyes. I tried but I couldn't sleep, I thought Sheldon was asleep so I tried to be silent. My teardrops started to fall down and I remember all the amazing memories I had with Leonard. I really love him and I don't think I will ever get over him.

S- Penny are you sleeping?

P- No, I couldn't.

S- Are you really going to break up with Leonard?

P- I have to, but I don't want to. I love him but if we work things up there will be this memory keep coming up and messing up our marriage. I think it is the right way.

S- So where are you going to live? Don't go somewhere far I'll miss you.

P- I'm sorry Sheldon but I think I will move back to Nebraska. I can't stay here, whole Pasadena recalls our memories with Leonard. We can video chat...

S- But it won't be the same! How are you going to roll your eyes everytime I say something you don't understand.

P- I don't want to leave either but I don't have any choice. Good night Sheldon.

S- Good night.

I closed my eyes and tried not to think about the things happened in that apartment. It was a nightmare. Leonard wasn't a guy like this, we were supposed to fight a lot but never because of serious stuff. Is he even a little sad right now? He didn't try to stop me, I got out of home and he stood up and watched me. I must sleep... I can't. I slowly got up and checked if Sheldon was asleep or not. Even though I made a lot of noise he didn't wake up. I packed my things and got out of the room. I wasn't sure what I was doing. I was following my blurry brain. I was still a little drunk so it was hard to go down the stairs. I called a cab to pick me to the train station. Yes, I am going back to Nebraska right now, I can't stay anymore. I texted everyone except Leonard the same text " Guys, we had a terrible fight with Leonard and we are breaking up and I am sorry but I can't stay here anymore. I love all of you so much but I have to do this. I would love to hug every one of you before going but the morning was so far away and the air of Pasadena was chocking me. I am getting on a train to Omaha right now. I am going to miss you. Please don't tell Leonard anything, I don't want him to even think about me. My head is so dizzy now so I need to sleep but I will video call you guys when I'm ready. Goodbye..."


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

Oh my head, it's going to explode! How much did I drink last night? Why is my bed moving?

Everything just didn't make sense. I slowly opened my eyes and saw outside from the window. I AM ON A TRAIN?! Going where? I picked up my phone and there were 15 missed calls and 37 messages! I opened them and read the message I sent. I remembered what was going on. I first called Amy because she was the one who called me the most.

P- Hello Amy.

A- Oh my god Penny, are you okay?

P- Not really, both physically and mentally I am devastated.

A- You wanna talk about it?

P- I don't know what I want.

A- Start telling the story if you feel bad you can stop.

P- Well, okay... I was preparing Leonard a surprise because it was the anniversary of our first date. I looked at my phone and saw a message " Oh Leslie, it was awesome seeing you again. I've missed you so much, maybe we'll hang out at my place another time when Penny is not home ;)" Can you believe that?! He is cheating on me with Leslie Winkle! I was so angry and when he got home, I saw the flowers on his hands. He gave it to me and I yelled "Oh you shouldn't have. You could just give it to Leslie while you were there!" and we had a fight. He tried to say that they were on an experiment together but he was lying. His voice always gets higher when he is lying. I've made him like this, I gave him courage. He wasn't able to look at my eyes when we first met.

A- Penny I am so sorry about these. I can't believe you are going. Maybe you understood him wrong.

P- Maybe but then why didn't he try to stop me. I was crying and running down the stairs, I stopped. I sat and waited for him to come, he didn't. It will be so hard for me to let it go, Amy. I still love him, I never imagined a future without him. I don't even know what to do in Omaha. I don't want to be Slugger again, I was happy to be a successful pharmaceutical rep Mrs. Hofstader.

A- You will find a job from there, you are smart and pretty...

P- Ugh, shut up! I am smart?! I couldn't even see my husband cheating on me! I am the dumbest person alive maybe because I believed that he was different in the first place.

A- Bestie, I know a lot of things going on right now in your life but here is always your home. We will be always waiting for you. You are one of the keystones of our group. Now, I know he broke your heart but I think you should talk to Leonard.

P- I don't know... I need to answer so many messages, I'll talk to you later.

A- Goodbye, I will miss you bestie.

P- Me too... bestie.

Wow its been a long time since I called her that but she really is very important for me.- She was always next to me when I need something. I am going to miss them a lot. I answered all the messages with similar answers then I saw a message from Leonard. It was too long just when I started reading it, I heard " The next station, Omaha."

I tried to pick all the things I got and join the queue behind the door. My life was restarting, without any footprints from my old life. Do I want to leave those memories behind? Do I want to leave my friends behind? Do I want to leave him behind?

Door opened and I stepped outside. The warm air cares my face and I started walking. Everything was as it was but the only thing different was me.


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

I don't know what to do. Everyone is so similar but not that similar to just walk by and say hello. I don't want to go home yet, I want to get some fresh air and read the message Leonard send. I got out of the train station and Nebraska sun hit me in the face like it did when I was a little girl. Its been 11 years since I left this city... I walked a little and found a new park. I sat on the bench and tried to forget everything. I closed my eyes and think about the time before Leonard. I was happy then too, I can be happy again. It may take time but I can. "OMG, Penny is that you?" I quickly opened my eyes and saw my best friend from high school, Rain. Her original name is Lorraine but we were all calling her Rain.

P- Hey Rain, its been a long time!

R- Yeah, what are you doing here? Your parents said that you were married and you have a fancy job in LA. I wasn't expecting to see you.

P- I wasn't planning to come actually. My parents still don't know I am here. I just needed to be away from Pasadena.

R- Something happened! What is it? You are totally upset right now. You can tell me whatever you want. Come on let's pick a coffee and talk.

I got my things and we went to the nearest coffee shop.

P-Espresso, double shot please.

R- Wow, for a person who can only drink cold coffee with a lot of cream on it, you must have a big problem.

I smiled and we picked our drinks and went back to the park. We found a big tree and sit under it. Just like old days.

R- So Penny what's wrong?

P- Well, my husband cheated on me so I couldn't stay anymore and come here in the middle of the night while I was still drunk.

R- OMG, you poor thing... Are you sure?

P- I don't want to be but I saw a pretty convenient message from him. Rain the worst part is I don't think I can move on. You know me for a long time, I dated hundreds of guys but did I ever felt anything after let's say 2 days?

R- No, not really.

P- Yeah but this time my whole body is burning. Everytime I think of him my brain crashes and my hand picks my telephone to call him to say that I love him.

R- Wow, you really love this guy. Why don't you call him?

P- Oh wait, there was a message from him. I couldn't read it, let's read together so that you can be my advisor again.

I opened my phone and directly the message came out.

"Penny, I am so sorry for what I've done but it's really not what it looks like. I loved you since the moment I saw your silhouette across the hall, how can I betray that young Leonard? How can I betray all my begging to get you? I can't think of a life without you. I was so stupid not to run to get you back. I was shocked, I didn't know what was going on. I got out the apartment the moment I got back my consciousness back. I saw you at the bar drinking all that shots to forget me, but the only way I can forget you is by death. Please come back, I will tell everything to you I promise but be sure that there wasn't and there won't be another woman in my life except you. I love you..." I realized I was crying when I finished reading it.

R- Penny, you both love each other so much. He says there was another circumstance. If I know you, I think you just yelled at him and got out of the apartment to drink right?

P- Yeah, I didn't listen what he was saying but look at the message he sent to me accidentally.

I showed her the message that he was trying to send to Leslie which started this whole thing.

R- This can mean a lot of things. Penny, please call him and give him a chance to explain.

P- I just need a couple of days to think before I do something. I am not ready now. I need to rest a little. Oh wait I think I should call my boss.

I got my phone back and called him.

P- Hello it's Penny. I need to get out of town last night and I think I will stay here for sometime and I needed to call you. What should I do? I can't turn back to Pasadena right now.

B- Marital problems?

P- Yes.

B- Where are you right now?

P- Omaha, Nebraska.

B- Our company has a office there too, you can work there and come back when you're ready. I can't lose a representer like you. Is that okay with you?

P- Yes, of course.

B- I am calling their boss right now they will send you the details. I hope everything will be all right between you and Leonard.

P- I hope that too. Have a good day.

I closed the phone and look at Rain. I couldn't believe I was here after all that time.

P- Let's go to my house. I think my parents need to know what happened too.

I knocked on the door and everyone in the house was so happy to see me. We last saw each other in my second wedding. I told what happened and they were so sad too because Leonard was a great guy and they liked our relationship. My mother also tried to convince me to call Leonard but I can't. I don't know what to say. What if he really cheated on me? What am I going to do? I asked if we still have horses or not and my father said that they were waiting for me so I grabbed Rain from her arm and started running. I jumped on Netty's back and started riding him. I missed this feeling so much.

P- Rain, pick your horse we are going on a nature horse ride.

We were riding our horses in little road created by horse and wheel prints in a little forest. I was feeling better. Rain passed me and I said "Oh, challenge accepted." We started a race between each other. We were both so fast and I was in the front. I was looking back at Rain to see where she is and she yelled:

R- PENNY WATCH OUT!

There was a car coming towards me and my horse, as fast as it can. His mind must be on another thing because he couldn't see us. When he turned his head, he realized it was too late and he was too near to stop. He honk the horn and Netty got scared, started running. I couldn't control him but we were getting away from the car. The car stopped but Netty didn't. He was running unstoppably and I was too weak to stay on him. I lost my balance and my arms felt strengthless, so I fell. It was a soft fall so I was just trying to get over the shock and saw Rain running to me to help me get up. Netty wasn't still calm. He was running like crazy around the road. While I was trying to get up, I saw Netty coming towards me. He jumped and kind of landed on my leg. I heard some leaf noises and when I looked at my foot it was facing me. I looked at Rain and said:

P- That's not normal! I tried to pick my leg up and the whole thing was swinging like a dead person's arm. Rain picked me and put on her horse and started riding back to the center. I was squirming because of pain and crying at the same time. Rain was trying to calm me down but I was in a lot of pain. I said:

P-Rain, please tell nothing to my friends in Pasadena. They will come here I know it.

R- Even Leonard?

P- Yes, even Leonard...

We arrived at the hospital and they directly took us to the emergency room. Nurses were cutting my boots to see what happened but they were really thick and high so it was taking ages. I was so scared to lose my leg...

They finally cut the boot and I saw my leg. My leg was totally open and blood was everywhere. Bones were sticking out of my leg and it was just horrible. The doctor said I needed an emergency operation. Everything was happening so quickly. Last night, I was preparing a fancy dinner for my husband and today I am going to an operation to save my leg. While they were putting the operation clothes on I looked at Rain again and she was all freaked out too. She was talking with my family on the phone and when she finished I said before going inside;

P- Please don't call Leonard. She shook her head as saying yes and I was in the operation room. Needles, oxygen tubes, blood sacks, my heart beat voice, this was the atmosphere. A nurse came to my face and put a container over my face to breath it.

N- Count to 10.

P- 1,2,3...4...

 **I hope you liked this chapter I know it was longer than usual because I combined two chapters because it was leaving in a bad cliff hanger. The accident happened in this chapter is inspired by Kaley's real life horse accident I changed it a little bur I even used the same words she described it somewhere.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey everyone! I hope you are liking this fanfiction reading your comments really make me happy, thanks so much for supporting...**

 _CHAPTER 5_

"Little ball of fur, happy kitty, sleepy kitty, pur, pur, pur.."

What? What is happening? Is that Sheldon? Oh no, Rain called them! My eyelids, please stop being a difficulty, I have enough! As I thought that they slowly started to open. Everybody was here, including Leonard. They didn't see me wake up at first but then Sheldon realized and said:

S- Finally, we came from Pasadena, stayed a little at the restaurant, waited here for 5 hours and here you are! How are you doing?

P- I am fine, it's just an accident. I told Rain to not to tell you guys but she did, didn't she?

L- Actually your mom called me, she said it might be an opportunity for us to talk.

P- Leonard, please I am not ready. I am extremely tired, my whole leg is in a cast and hanging from the ceiling. Really not a good time.

Leonard put flowers to my nightstand in the hospital and got out of the room. Bernadette and Amy ran and started questioning me.

B- Penny, are you sure you are okay?

P- I am not but I need to get over this by myself. I need to be a grown up.

A- Maybe you can but we need you. Pasadena is so empty without you.

P- That's so sweet but I need to stay away for a while. Maybe I will come back.

A- MAYBE! Is there a chance that you won't?!

P- Maybe, maybe not...

B- So how did this happen?

P- Well I need to empty my head so I picked my horse, Netty, and got outside to ride with Rain. My head was of course on Leonard so I got distracted and nearly hit by a car. Then the driver realized the horse so he honked so Netty freaked out. He threw me away from his back but it was actually a soft landing. He couldn't calm down and he was still running. He jumped and landed on my leg.

B- Ouch, that must have hurt a lot!

P- Well at first I thought the voice was coming from the leaves but it turned out that they were my bones cracking. I didn't really felt anything that moment but coming here and taking that boot of was a torture.

A- You must be tired, we will leave you a little so that you can rest.

I agreed and closed my eyes as soon as they leave. I tried to sleep but I couldn't all I could think was Leonard. I wanted him back so bad. I need him to be next to me, comforting me. Not outside trying to find a way to get me back.

L- Penny, I can't wait any longer. Please let me talk.

P- I was thinking the same thing.

L- Penny, I know I have a past with Leslie Winkle which is just her using me as her sex toy but this time it is really an experiment. We are working with a neurobiologist to determine the respond time of a person when he look at a normal person or his lover. I was the last subject for her experiment and when they showed me your photo, my score beat all of the subjects. So she was joking like " Hey, wanna eat together but if Penny is not there you can have a heart attack." or like " I couldn't solve this equation and I can't ask Sheldon because he is a dumbass. Can you solve it but of course if Penny is not there or you won't concentrate on it." It's stupid I know but it became like a running gag between two friends. This was like 3-4 months ago and when she turn back from Arctics the university gave us an experiment again and we tried to start it in her lab but it was so small and unorganized that we couldn't do anything. So that message was really all about it. I am so sorry that I upset you and you are right in every perspective. Please give me a chance please. I love you so much, I don't think I can live without you Penny.

P- Oh, why can't I stay mad at you... Come here my little homunculus. Your wife needs a kiss to get up.

"Penny, Penny!" What, what is happening? Is that Rain's voice? Where is Leonard? Why aren't my lips touching to his now? I opened my eyes and he wasn't here. His flower was gone. There were just my parents and Rain. It was nothing but a dream. It was all in my head, but I wish it was true. I need you honey...


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6:

I was lying on the bed, surrounded by my family and Rain. She kept her promise and didn't tell anyone but I wish she did. I really miss the guys, other me and Leonard. I can't think other things except him. He is always in my mind but I can't do anything. We need to stay away from each other to figure out what's going on. My leg is holding its shape with the help of the metals around it. I will have another surgery tomorrow because this was only for cleaning the enfection. I remember doctor saying " We might have to remove your leg, its damage is crirtical" so I was glad to see my leg.

P- Rain, is your laptop with you?

R- Yeah, why?

P- I think I am ready to video call them.

She was so excited and immediately brought her computer. She put it on the table next to me and got it closer. I logged in to my account and opened the app. Am I really ready? I don't know but I have to talk. I clicked on Bernadette's photo...

B- Hi Penny, good to see you. Oh my god, are you in a hospital, what's wrong?

P- I will explain but first gather everyone. Wait, not Leonard.

B- Okay. Amy, Sheldon, Howie, Raj come here Penny is on the phone!

Everybody quickly gathered around the screen.

A- Hey bestie, are you okay?

P- Well...

B- What happened? Tell us.

P- I was horse riding to get my mind off the things happening in my life and my horse spooked. I fell, he jumped and landed on my leg. I had a surgery yesterday and I have another one tomorrow. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you guys but please don't come.

B- Why? We are worried about you.

P- It's just not the right time.

A- Are you okay now?

P- Yes, I hope the surgery will be successful again.

B- Penny, please let us come. We won't tell Leonard. We want to be next to you in your hard times.

P- Sorry but I can't. So how is Leonard? Is he doing fine?

H- He is not answering our calls and he locked himself to the apartment. All we can hear from outside is his crying and some Nysnc songs. We are worried about him too. You are both really exhausted now, why don't you just give him a chance to explain.

P- Oh no, really? I felt so sorry for him. I was making him listen Nysnc while we were home alone. I really want to talk with him too but I don't know if I am ready to learn the reality or not.

R- There must be a misunderstanding, Leonard loves you so much. He will never cheat on you.

P- Okay, I will think about it. I have to close now, nurses came to make my painkiller. See you guys. I missed all of you so much.

Everyone- We missed you too, by!

I closed the laptop and there were no nurses because I really want to be alone and think. I look at my phone and saw Leonard in my favorites list. My heart was ready to press on his face and talk with him but my logic was pulling me away. I can't. Can I?

My days passed by with these to sentences in my head. I had a surgery got back home but deep inside I was always thinking about him. I video chat with everyone couple of times but never saw Leonard's face since I left the apartment. I really want to be wrong, I want to go to that train staion and never come back. I want to be with my husband. Maybe this can be real. I can snuggle with him instead of lying in my childhood bed, trying to forget him. I trust in Leonard. I am ready. I am calling him.


	7. Chapter 7

I pressed at his photo and the phone started ringing. I was still not sure if it was the right choice or not. He opened it so quickly that I couldn't even say hi when I saw him on the screen. He'd lost a lot of weight and his eyes were red. He was in the worst mood that I have ever seen him. He looked at the phone and excitedly said:

L- Oh my god Penny! I am so sorry for what I've done. Please let me explain. I missed you so much. Your smell on the pillow is slowly disappearing and I can't survive a little more without you. I was first a little mad at you beause you just ran away without letting me explain but I understood what you felt and I just started missing you even more.

P- Thanks for understandin honey, I think the same things. You were the only thing in my mind since I left the house. I drank even more wine that I ever drank in my life. You know how much I normally drink so you make the calculations. I was always drunk and had nothing to do but the chance that it might be a misunderstanding made me stand up. I'm listening...

L- Well, it was Friday afternoon and we worked on an experiment all day. She was kidding with me because which drawer she opened, she found your picture. She was all like knocking on my door and saying " Is Penny here because I see her face more than yours in this room." So Penny is home was our code for my concentration level. You know we are working on this for a long time. She was always knocking on my door and asking if you were here or not. I know it's so stupid. The first time I tried to use that code I messed up. I am so sorry, Penny. I would never cheat on you come on you're dating with someone like me how can I waste this oppurtunity? Please, I am not doing well here. I didn't go to work, haven't eaten anything. My mind is just on you.

P- Well, I am pretty bad too. I got over 3 surgeries here. Guys know the first two but the third was only between my doctor and me.

L- Are you okay?! I am feeling so guilty right now. It's all my fault, I made you sad and I made you ran away. Oh god, I am damaging you. I can't say sorry enough. What happened to you?

P- First two was because of my horse accident and the other...

L- What, what's wrong?

P- Leonard, it was an abortion.

L-What?! You were pregnant! Oh my god, I am the worst dad ever. Are you okay right now?

P- To be fair, no.

L- I can come and pick you up anytime sweetheart.

P- It would be great but we are so far away.

L- I can come with the plane. No problem, I just need you.

P- Honey, me too. You know what, I am coming back with the next plane. I really can't stay here anymore. I was sad enough, promise that there wasn't and won't be anything between you and any other woman.

L- Never, please come back.

P- I will, I love you...

L- I love you too.

I closed the phone and happiley went down stairs.

P- MOM IT WAS A MISUNDERSTANDING! I AM TURNING BACK TO PASADENA!

M- I am so happy for you sweetie, did you tell him the news?

P- Well, kinda...

I went upstairs and packed all things I need. I said goodbye to everyone including my dogs and took a cab to go to the airport. I bought the nearest flight to LA and texted Leonard the details of the flight. I was happpy after a long time. Flight was really good maybe because I slept all the way. I was behind the door from the entrance. I was so nervous, is it going to be the same? Let's hope that it will be better because he realized my value for him. Oh god, I've missed him so much. Last time I breath in this city, I was drunk, crying and I was a person who never had a surgery in her life. I took a deep breath and grabbed my bags. I stand in front of the door, it opened and I saw him.


	8. Chapter 8

Our eyes met and we both start running at each other. I dropped my bags and hugged him. It was the most passionate and long hug we ever had. We both started crying. I looked at his eyes and started kissing him. I missed him so much. Even the weird noises he does when we kiss. Some people started appluasing us but we were like in another dimension. Here, it was only me and Leonard. We finally split up and I said:

P- Oh god, I've missed you my stupid poptart.

L- Say that to me. Are you okay?

P- Yes if only I have you.

L- Penny, that was the most romantic thing you ever said!

P- Because I realized how much I need you in the past 3 months. Please, please don't leave me.

L- You left me this time but I will never leave you honey. Now let's pick you to your home. He grabbed my bags and held me from my waist to help me walk. My leg was still hurting so much but I didn't care about it. We got into his car and I fastened my seatbelt. He sat to the drivers seat.

P- I thought guys would come too.

L- Well, I kind of didn't tell them to have some private time with you.

P- Oh, I am really okay with that.

L- Wait before I start driving, I should give you something.

P- What's that?

He brought a jewelry box and handled it to me.

I opened it and there was a bracelet shaped like an atom.

P- Hey, are you trying to make me more interested in science?

L- This is the element Californium, that is a radioactive, metallic element discovered by the California Radiation Laboratory in Berkeley in 1950. I was counting the days we were away from each other with the periodic table and I had a plan to do when it finished. Today is Californium, 98th day.

P- Oh my god, that is so amazing! You are more romantic then ever, I thought you would get angry with me and leave me forever so thank you for being the most wonderful husband in the world. Also what was your plan?

L- Well, let's forget it and you tell me what happened in Nebraska.

P- Well the first day I went there, I was devastated and I tried to get my head off the things happening and I went horse riding in forest. Then my bones wanted to hang out a little outside of my leg so I had 2 surgeries to fix them.

L- What about the third?

His voice was weepy and I understood he meant the abortion.

P- Well, it didn't happen actually. Here.

I gave him a ultrasound of our baby he stopped the car and looked at it. A big smile appeared on his face.

L- Oh my god! I am going to be a dad! Thank you!

P- Honey, I also missed you thanking me a lot too.

L- Get out.

P- What?!

L- We are video calling guys like right now.

I got out of the car and we together sat on the grass. I wanted to trick guys so Leonard hide from the camera.

P- Hey guys.

A- Hey Penny, how are you doing?

P- Not really great, I finally sent Leonard the papers.

B- What? I am so sorry Penny.

Leonard jumped out and yelled:

L- Don't be Bernie because this is the most amazing paper I've ever recieved.

H- What is going on?

P- We finally talked and I forgave him. I am in Pasadena now.

L- And the paper is this! He showed them the ultrasound of our baby. They were all shocked and everybody was so happy.

B- I can't believe this, congratulations! I am so happy for you guys!

A- Bestie, this is amazing! I can't wait to see you with your little pregnancy belly!

P- I am so excited too.

H- Congratulations guys, we are so happy that you are back together!

R- We must celebrate this!

P- Well actually we thought we would have some alone time tonight. We will see you guys tomorrow.

A- Can't wait!

B- See you !

We finished the chat and looked at each other. He got closer to me and I put my head on to his shoulder. It was one of the most peaceful moments I have ever experienced.

P- Let's go home. I missed it so much maybe you will want to recall our memories in the bedroom too.

2 hours later...

Wow, that was fun.

P- Leonard, you really got better at this. You didn't practice while I was away, did you?

I started laughing.

L- No way, I was home trying to call you back using the force.

P- Yeah, did it work? I smiled.

L- Well, I am here lying in our bed again with you so I can be a jedi.

P- Aww, my little jedi. I really have to go to the bathroom now. Love you sweetie.

L- Love you too.

I put on my robe and went to the bathroom. When I was ready to go out, I remembered that I had a night cream that I was used to put on before sleeping.

P- Honey, did you see my cream?

L- No, I didn't touched anything there since you were gone. Wait, Penny!

I opened the drawer and saw my cream when I took it out my eyes caught something that didn't belong there. It was syringe with drugs next to it, no no no this can't be happening! I took it and when I turned my back Leonard was there with shame on his face. I was so scared, and I looked at his eyes deeply and asked:

P- H, Honey what are these?


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey everyone! I noticed that I lost readers after Penny and Leonard got back together and it really made me sad. I know maybe this wasn't the way you guys thought it would turn out but this was my was my way to continue this I've done things wrong but from now on please concantrate on the future of the story and I hope you will like what is waiting fot you to read! Love y'all so much, thanks for reading...**

CHAPTER 9

L- Oh them? Nothing...

P- Leonard, I am serious. Have you been using drugs? Since when? Are you okay?

L- No to all of them. Do you remember that I said I had a plan when the periodic table ends?

P- Yes...

L- It was to golden shot. I couldn't think of another way to suicide.

P- WHAT?! Oh my god, you really considered suicide just because we weren't seeing each other? Did you think how much it would devastate me?

L- Yes that's why I was going to ran away first and kill myself in a hidden place.

P- Oh, honey I am so happy that we both save each other from the crappy life. Also when does the table end?

L- With the element ununoctium with the atomic number of 118.

P- So that you are saying you were going to kill yourself if I didn't call you for 20 more days.

L-Well, I had a plan to call you the last day but I am glad that we didn't come to that state. Honey I am totally fine, don't worry about me. As a scientist, I know the side effects of these drugs very well, I will never use it now please put that into the garbage and come and meet me at the bedroom.

He left the bathroom and I looked at the syringe for a long time. I was thinking how would my life change if I didn't come. He would be gone and I would forever consider myself guilty. I would hate life because I would have nothing to live for. Wow, I am both the murderer and the saver of him now. When I finally finished staring at the murder weapon of my husband and put in in the trash can to never see it again. I washed my face and went back to the bedroom.

P- Oh yes, I even missed your little shows before intercourse.

L- This is a really special one just for you, me and our little baby.

He brought his diary from the day we met to the present. Every little detail of our relationship since day one even with little pictures. Our first date, argues, break up, proposal, wedding all of them. I looked through it and noticed a little note at the end.

"Give this to your beautiful and amazing wife in the happiest day of your life. ~ Leonard 24 September 2007~"

P- Wow, this is gorgeous! How did you know that we were going to get married?

L- Well, I am a pretty smart guy and I recognized that you were the one for me the second our eyes met for the first time.

P- Oh my god, you even wrote while you were dating Priya. I certainly thought we were done at that point.

L- You were always the one and you were worth sweetie. I never lost my hope for you.

P- My father told you to never give up on me? That's so sweet.

L- And I didn't, honey I am so tired and I think you are too. Let's sleep now, we can go through it in the morning.

P- Of course, I love you sweetie.

L- I love you too.

After 98 days this was the place I wanted to be.


	10. Chapter 10

CHAPTER 10

I opened my eyes and Leonard wasn't next to me, I put on my robe and make my way to the living room. While walking through the corridor, I noticed an amazing smell. I saw Leonard preparing me a breakfast.

P- Good morning!

L- Hello sunshine, it was supposed to be a bed breakfast but you woke up earlier than I thought. How was your sleep?

P- Best one in 98 days. I want to go and say hi to Sheldon and Amy too. I happily got out of the apartment and went to the next door. It was 8am so Sheldon was awake. I waited at the door and

*knock, knock, knock* Shamy,

*knock, knock, knock* Shamy,

*knock, knock, knock* Shamy.

A- Penny! She hugged me and said;

It's so amazing to finally see you!

P- Oh you too Amy, I missed you all so much.

A- Is everything okay now?

P- Better than okay, we both understood the meaning for each other and we are really happy now.

A- I am so glad to hear that. I really tried so hard not to jump in your apartment to see your face again yesterday.

P- Yeah, last night was fun.

A- Get it girl!

P- So where is Sheldon?

A- Oh he had noice cancelling headphones to stabilize his anxiety level while working, I will call him.

"Sheldon, come here. Somebody is at the door!"

"Didn't you ask who is it?"

"She wants to see you."

"Okay" Sheldon was slowly walking from my old bedroom and when he saw me in front of the door, his eyes started to shine. He ran and gave me one of his rare Sheldon Cooper hugs. I never thought he would miss me this much. He is an important part of my life but I never thought I was that important for him.

S- Penny, why did you leave me at the hotel? I got scared and there was no one to calm me down. I needed you so many times but you weren't here. Nobody said anything sarcastic to me since you left the city. There was a weird feeling in my body, I talked with Amy and we diagnosed it "missing". Yes this is the right place to construct this sentence, I missed you Penny.

P- Wow, Sheldon I missed you too. I am sorry that I wasn't here with you but I really wanted that too. I just couldn't, now we are all together again with a plus one.

S- Who? Did you bring a friend from Nebraska? You know my friendship has a capacity.

P- Wait, don't you know the news?

S- What news?

P- Sheldon, I am pregnant!

S- W, w, what?

P- Yes, I am carrying a baby!

S- Oh no, I knew this was coming...

P- What's wrong? Aren't you happy?

S- Of course not, that apartment will be small for 3 of you so you will rent a bigger one. First you will say that you'll visit me everyday like old times then because of some reasons, days would get less and less. Then only in important circumstances. I just got you back, I don't want you to leave me again.

P- Sweetie, your room is enough for our kid. Don't worry. I have to go now, I am pretty hungry.

I was walking back home and realized that Sheldon's speech really hit me, will the kid change everything? Halley came but we are still seeing Howard and Bernadette. Okay they are not coming everyday like they used to but we are still best friends. I love that big weirdo is in my life, I won't let it be like that. While I was thinking all this I realized I was already in the living room. I looked at the kitchen but Leonard wasn't there.

P- Honey, where are you?

I walked around the house but I couldn't see him. The only place left was the bathroom.

P- Leonard, are you there? Why are you not answering? I am going in.

I grabbed the door knob, turned it and pushed the door.

P- LEONARD!


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey everyone! Thanks for reviewing and I love y'all so much. I get a lot of comments about Sheldon and Penny but THERE IS NOTHING BETWEEN THEM IN THIS STORY. I am a hard core Lenny fan and I really can't write Shenny or Shamy stories. Don't worries :)**

CHAPTER 11

He was lying down with a syringe in his hand, looking at me with eyes full of guilt. His hands were shaking but I caught him before he made the shot. I took the death tool from his hands and hugged him. We were both sitting on the bathroom floor without saying any words. Then we heard running sounds, Sheldon and Amy came and looked at us from the door. It must have been a weird look, a married couple cuddled up on a bathroom floor and the wife is holding a syringe full of drugs. I've never dreamt this could be happening to us. My brother used to sell them but Leonard was a smart guy, why would he do something like that?

S- What happened?!

A- Are you guys okay?

P- I hope so. Leonard get up, we need to talk...

I grabbed his arm and pulled him to our bedroom.

P- Please say that you are not addicted. Even if you are, there are so many ways to get rid of it. I am always here for you my love. You are my sun and stars.

L- I am. I am so sorry for doing this to you but I am addicted Penny. I wasn't doing good without you so I needed something to get my mind of you. I started using them like a month ago. I cried everytime I took it but I couldn't stop Penny. I couldn't... Please help me.

P- I will do everything to save you honey. I love you.

L- I love you too, also I recognised your Game of Thrones quote! You are making me fall even more in love with you.

P- Now let's eat and then we will decide what are we going to do about this. Promise me you will tell everything you do. No secrets.

L- I promise.

We were having our breakfast with Sheldon and Amy.

P- This is so delicious Leonard! How did you learn to do such things?

L- I was home alone all the time, a lot of youtube videos and practice.

A- Good job!

We finished our meals and we all settled on to the sitting are as always. It's been a while since four of us sat like this.

P- Okay now Leonard is addicted to drugs. Now we are going to compromise and find the best way to get through this.

S- When did you start?

L- About a month ago.

S- How are you consuming it?

L- With a syringe directly to my veins.

A- Have you ever tried to stop? Maybe your body is not addicted yet.

L- I tried every day but negative.

P- Are you positive to rehab?

L- Of course I am, I just want to spend rest of my life with my beautiful wife and our amazing child.

P- Then let's go, We have no more minutes to lose!

We all got into my car and went to the closest rehabilitation center in town. They said they will take him away from me for at least 2 weeks! I will only be able to see him for half an hour every day. He was first really dissapointed about this fact but then he thought about the times he will gain with his child if he goes through this stuff so we agreed.

P- I am going to miss you so much!

L- Me too, I love you.

I kissed him before they take him away from me.

L- TAKE CARE OF PENNY AND MY BABY WHILE I AM AWAY!

S- Of course.

I sat on the bench, all the emotions combined and turned into burst of tears. Amy sat next me and tried to calm me down but I was the cause of all of this! I ran away because I was an idiot! If I just stayed a little and listen him, he would be fully healthy and next to me right now. I am the one who hurt him. I did all of this. Just ME


	12. Chapter 12

CHAPTER 12

It's been 3 weeks since I left my love in the hands of the rehabilitation center. Even though they said I was going to see him every day, they didn't let anyone in. We didn't know what was going on. I was depressed all the time and I didn't let anyone in our apartment. OURS NOT MINE, HE WILL BE BACK OKAY?! I had so many crying jags and I wasn't able to eat at all. I was like the pregnant version of Leonard while I was away. Oh yeah I had a baby, but I wasn't even caring about it. I was getting skinnier and my little pregnancy bump was getting more visible. I wasn't complete without him. He was my other half of the apple, without it the other one it starts to decay.

Today is the day that the doctor said Leonard is all clean! We will take him home and never let him use any of those evil things again. I got out of the bed and wore a tight blue blouse which said " Baby of nerds" and a jean. I bought that shirt because I was the queen and Leonard was the King of Nerds! I comb my hair and straightened it. I had a breakfast after so many days and I looked at myself in the mirror and this wasn't the woman Leonard left behind. I ran to put on some make up to hide the ruins of the misery I went through while he was away.

I got my keys and yelled in the hallway:

P- Sheldon, Amy, you guys ready?

A- One sec!

P- Okay... I whispered.

After 5 minutes later they both got out of the apartment cuddled up and in a good mood.

P- Hey, it looks like you guys were having fun.

S- Yes, I explained how physics and biology affect our daily life to Amy.

P- Good, good now let's pick my husband!

I happily go downstairs and we all sat to our seats. I was so excited to see him again. I hope he won't realize the change in me. He will be worried sick if so. I went to the center as fast as I can and the secreter made me fill bunch of forms in order to check if I was the person who I think I was. "Penny Hofstader, age 31, blonde hair,green eyes, wife of Leonard Hofstafer, 5 months pregnant" and writing these everywhere all over again and finally I was done. They told they were going to bring him so we were all waiting by the sliding doors to see Leonard again.

The door opened and I saw him with full of energy. He was looking so handsome! I ran and hugged him.

P- I missed you so much!

He picked me up and kissed me.

L- Say that to me, I thought about you and our little baby every second. You are lighter than you used to be, weren't you supposed to gain weight because of pregnancy. How can you lose weight!

P- I'm fine Leonard.

L- Okay I was just worried about you two. Baby of Nerds, that's so cool! Aren't we supposed to know its gender?

P- Pull the fabric on the t-shirt and find out!

He grabbed the ribbon and he pulled it:

L- TWINS OF NERDS! Oh my god, Penny I can't believe this! Thank you.

P- Honey, you don't need to thank for everything.

L- Okay, thanks!

After all these talks he finally talked with our friends too and we all went to our apartment to celebrate!

 **Last 2 chapters! Don't forget to review I read all of them and I consider your opinions thank you for supporting me**


	13. Chapter 13

**So sorry for the delay but here we go! Last chapter before final, I hope you like it and don't forget to review**

CHAPTER 13

Amy was driving the car, Sheldon was in the front seat, Leonard and I were cuddled up in the back seat talking about the things that happened without him. He was caressing my little belly and talking to our babies. He was so sweet to them and that picture became the meaning of my life. Me, Leonard and our little babies, the life I've been waiting for a long time.

P- What would 21 year old Penny would say if you told her that she will marry you and have twins?

L- "Stop kidding, what was your order again?"

P- Ha ha, so funny. Well, you wouldn't have believe this either.

L- No, you are wrong. Sheldon remember the first sentence I said after Penny went to her apartment to pick up her purse?

S- Of course I do, "Our babies will be smart and beautiful." and then I said "Not to mention imaginary" but we can see that I was wrong. This happens so rarely so good job tricking Penny, Leonard.

A- When I first met you guys, I immediately thought that you were going to break up and try to be friends. I also thought it would be a good bonding moment with Penny if I calm her down when you two break up. I believe that you managed to break all the assumptions and be together, it is like the best relationship I've ever seen now. I am so happy for you guys.

P- Aww Amy! I don't know if that's because of hormones or not I think I am going to cry!

I couldn't keep it anymore and all my happiness started rushing from my eyes. I hugged Leonard and he kissed me from my forehead. I was always the one to calm people down when they are crying so this was really strange. Leonard was playing with my hair and I felt his teardrop drop to my shirt. We were both incredibly happy but couldn't say anything. Even we weren't even sure how we end up together, married and pregnant. At this moment Amy stopped the car and we were home, we got out of the car and Leonard's arm was a round my waist and we were walking together still kind of weepy. Bernadette saw us, she got out of the car quickly thinking something bad happened. Her scare was readable from her eyes.

B- Whats wrong?!

P- Nothing, these are happy tears.

L- We couldn't believe we end up like this after 11 years! Nobody thought this was our destiny, even us but I can't be any more happier than I am now.

I pulled him closer from his hoodie and kissed him at the gate. He was suprised but as always happy and noisy but I love him the way he is, no more no less.

We finally get to the apartment and started playing a game called "What we thought about Lenny?" Everybody was writing what they think was going to happen when they first met with us and we were reading it out loud. It was my turn and I picked a card from the table.

P- Okay, let's see. "I met Penny first and I thought she was a really nice person and she can't find anyone like her. I thought she was seeing so many person but never getting to know them because she can't get any emotions out of the relationship. Then she introduced me to Leonard and I thought that it was a joke! No offense Leonard but come on she is hot. Then I get to know them better and better everyday but never thought they were going to end up together. When they break up a small voice inside my head said that they are meant to be together and at last they will find each other. I never believed that either but when Leonard asked Penny out again I realized this was it. Leonard was more confident and he was fighting for his love. From that moment I was sure that you two are happy together..."

P- Oh my god, that is so sweet! I think it is from Amy because you met me first and spent more time with me than Leonard.

A- Yeah, that's mine...

We were reading one by one and they were all filled with different things but there was one thing in common even though nobody thought we were the perfect couple, we proved them all wrong and stayed together after everything we been through and that's what's important. Our love was like a concrete that holds this whole relationship.

There were only 2 cards left and they were definitely Leonard and mine. Leonard picked the first one and started reading.

L- Penny when I first saw you in the hall unpacking your stuff to start a whole new life, I never thought I would be a part of it. I loved the way your eyes shine when you first looked at me. I loved everything about you in that moment. I never thought I had a chance with you. I never thought we would go more than one date. I never thought we would date again after a horrible break up. I never thought you would say yes to me. I never thought you would marry me. TWICE! I never thought you would carry my babies. You proved me wrong so many times, every time you made me even more happy. I can't even say how much I love you and of course our babies...

P- WOW, that was. It was. I can't. WOW. I don't know what to say.

I picked up my card from the table, took a deep breath and started reading.

P- Leonard, I may not have a story like yours to tell how I fall in love with you because it happened naturally. Once I was seeing you as the nerdy neighbor who lives with his weird friend and then all of a sudden I was your lover forever. I never saw you more then a friend when I first see you but then I got to know you and I fell in love with your beautiful heart. That second I realised this was different, I felt something I never felt for any guy I met. I felt us bonding and making each other a whole. I love you so so much and I am sure that our twins will too. I promise I will be so much more mature and I will never leave you again because you are the one to complete me.

Everybody was listening with their mouths open and tearing up. When I finished reading the paper I looked up and saw Leonard crying. I got up and gave him a hug.

L: Oh my god, that was the most romantic that I ever heard. We might come a rough way but now our future is bright and together. You in?

P: I was never out! I pulled closer and pushed my lips against mine, the moment was so special that my heart took the lead and it was doing whatever it wants and all it want was him.

P: Thank you for not losing your ho... Something is wrong! Ah, it hurts so bad, please help me...


	14. Chapter 14

FINAL

P: Thank you for not losing your ho... Something is wrong! Ah, it hurts so bad, please help me...

I felt a huge pain right on my belly and I fell back on the couch. Everybody got up and came near me. Something was going on, my baby fighting to live. Leonard picked me up and starting running downstairs. The rest stayed where they were because of the shock. This amazing day can't end like this. This can't be happening.

L: Everything is going to be alright just hold on honey.

He put me in the backseat and quickly ran to the driver's seat. I was in a pain that I never felt before. It was like my body was punching our babies out. I looked at the seat and I saw it. I saw the blood.

P: Leonard, they are leaving me! I cried.

L: We are getting there sweetie, it will be okay.

He was driving really fast and using the horn like he never used before. I saw the hospital signs and I hold on to my belly. Leonard stopped the car in front of the hospital and opened my door. He yelled:

L: Help us! Help us please!

He picked me up and put on to the stretcher that came. He was holding my hand and we were running to the emergency room. My respiration became faster and my pain built up. I was sweating and my whole body was covered in blood. Were they gone? Did I lose my children?

The automatic door opened and they left Leonard behind.

L: I am waiting for you sweetie, I am right here.

As the door closed I saw him sit on the floor and start crying. I looked at the doctor and he was trying to figure out what was going on.

P: Are they going to be fine?

D: Its too hard to say.

He took out a syringe and stick it to my belly. P: What is that for?

D: It prevents misscarriage but I am sorry it already started.

I was so devastated and burst into tears, they left us. Our babies are gone now. Doctors stick some things on my belly to check for the heartbeats. I waited for them, to answer me. They moved the things everywhere but there was nothing. No heartbeats, they were both dead. I felt more pain and that was the last one. My babies were gone now. I won't be able to see them again, I won't sing lullabies to them to get them to sleep. I won't feel their warmness on my body. They are both gone, forever...

Nurses cleaned me up and put me on a wheelchair. They pushed me towards the door and it automatically opened everybody was there and Leonard ran and kneel down next to me. He held my hand and the nurses went back in the emergency room. We were all our group there. Leonard probably guessed the news but I started crying and said:

P: I lost them honey, it's all my fault. They are gone...

Leonard's eyes got watery and he said:

L: Sweetie, that's okay. It means so much to that you are fine. I love you so much and we will be fine.

P: We won't have twins of nerds anymore. I drank so much alcohol, I got through two operations and I was so stupid. They left me because I am a terrible mother.

L: No honey, you didn't know you were a mother back then and you were in a really bad mood. Nothing is your fault. Nothing is more important than you in this whole universe. You are the person I love and want to be with for the rest of my life. We have each other Penny, we have our family.

He looked at the guys and they were all tearing up. I hugged him and my teardrops wet his t-shirt. Everybody gathered around and hugged us. I have our family with me, Sheldon, Amy, Raj, Bernadette, Howard and the most important Leonard. If they are next to me I will be survive from everything.

P: What happened was so heartbreaking and I really wanted to be a mother for so long. Losing them was the worst thing that happened to me but you guys made me realize it's not the end of the world. From now on I will be more careful about everything because I don"t want to lose this too. Thank you all for being my family. In my worst days and in my best days, I love you so much. Especially you Leonard you are the one who made me this person. You are my soulmate and I will never leave you again because then my life becomes meaningless. You are my energy that holds me up, please stay with me forever.

Thank you all for reading see you in my future fanfics!


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